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  Since You’ve Been Gone

  Copyright 2016 © S.M Phillips. All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means such as electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the author of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorised, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

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  Contents

  Books by S.M Phillips

  About the author

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Books by S.M Phillips

  • Escape Down Under (DOWN UNDER #1)

  • Fallen Down Under (DOWN UNDER #2)

  • Forever Down Under (DOWN UNDER #3)

  • Down Under Complete Trilogy Box Set

  (includes 2 exclusive novellas)

  ~

  • Obsession (OBSESSION #1)

  • Betrayal (OBSESSION #2)

  ~

  • Since You’ve Been Gone

  • Heartbreak’s A Bitch!

  About The Author

  S.M Phillips is a fun loving mummy of two from Manchester. When she’s not busy writing, you’ll most likely find her head buried deep inside her kindle with a cup of coffee in hand. Talk to her when she’s reading and things could get pretty colourful, pretty fast. Just ask her Hubby.

  She is a lover of chocolate, especially if it has peanut butter inside and she loves a good cocktail or two. She often wonders if she should spend more time buying shoes, like most women, but then she remembers her beautiful never ending TBR list and realises that money can be spent on more important things…

  … BOOKS.

  If you would like to stay up to date with S.M Phillips, you can follow her social media sites below.

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  Dedication

  That special someone can walk in and out of your life, yet leave a permanent mark that can last a lifetime.

  “Okay, let’s start by taking some deep, calming breaths and we can figure out where to go from there.”

  My voice comes out in a foreign, yet reassuringly confident tone, but I haven’t got a flaming clue where it’s coming from, because deep down, I’m nervous as hell too.

  Actually, who am I even trying to kid here? I’m ridiculously pants at trying to calm anyone down, so I don’t know why I’m still trying. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. Just breathe. You know you can do this Han.”

  “No I bloody can’t.” She wails back at me. “There’s not a cat in hells chance that I can do this. What was I thinking? What were you thinking by allowing me to do this?” She continues to squeal at me while throwing her arms around frantically.

  “Always the bloody drama queen, this one.” I think to myself. Instead I say out loud to her, “It’s only natural to get nervous. It’s a big step; a complete lifestyle change. To be honest, I’d be a little worried if you weren’t nervous, but I know you better than anyone and I know how long you’ve been dreaming and waiting for this day to arrive.” I place my fingers on the side of Hannah’s beautiful, porcelain face and look her square in the eye. A pool of dark chocolate reflects back at me; hazed over with her tears that threaten to break free and she’s shaking like a bloody mad woman. All I want to do is wrap her up in my warm, protective arms and make all of her worries fade away, to completely disappear. But I know her better than anyone and I know that she’s made of stronger stuff than this.

  “What do I do?” She whispers. She’s that quiet, I only just about hear her.

  “Well, you can start by drying those bloody eyes, but watch your make-up. Don’t be rubbing too hard, I don’t think we’ve got enough time to re-do it again and the last thing that you need right now is a pair of puffy bug eyes.”

  “What if he’s changed his mind, Luce?” Hannah’s voice begins to break slightly, her bottom lip starts to wobble and it takes me back to when we were younger. Hannah has always been the one to wear her heart on her sleeve, while I was the one making sure everything was okay, holding the fort and tackling the bad guys from time to time.

  “What?” My head snaps up to look at her through the reflection in the mirror and I’m left speechless at her stupidity. Now, with Hannah, that’s really saying something.

  “What if he’s realised that he’s made a massive mistake and he’s decided to run for the hills? It’s not like I’d blame him. I mean, look at me. I can’t even hold it together on the most important day of my life. I’m a mess.”

  “Oh give over, you stupid mare. Daniel isn’t going anywhere, not unless it’s with you anyway. You should know this by now Hannah. You’re just getting last minute nerves, that’s all. Like I said, it’s only natural. I mean, look at you. You’re absolutely beautiful. Why wouldn’t he want to spend the rest of his life with you?”

  All Hannah does is shrug her shoulders back at me, while looking thoroughly defeated. This isn’t like her at all and I really want to give her a bloody good shake, but I know that won’t do her any good; not yet, anyway. I don’t think we need to bring in the desperate measures just yet. “Come on, people are waiting for you.”

  “I love you Lucy.” She whispers to me, her bottom lip wobbling some more.

  “I know, and I love you too.” I can’t help but smile back at her and my chest tightens at the sight of her. I need to concentrate on keeping my own tears at bay, so I grab both of her hands in mine and give them a little squeeze for encouragement. “Don’t you bloody dare start crying again lady, otherwise there’ll be trouble.”

  “You’re right, what am I saying? I’m about to marry the man that I love, my one true soulmate and look at me. I’m stood in the flaming toilets being a right hormonal cow…

  …Oh fuck.”

  I’m quickly shoved out of the way as Hannah makes a beeline for nearest cubicle with her hand firmly clamped over her mouth. I only just about manage to make out her mumbled words.

  “I think I’m going to be…”

  “…Sick?” I answer for her, just before I hear the contents of her insides emptying out into the bowl. Nothing is ever plain sailing with us two, that’s for sure.

  I guess time will only tell how the rest of today is about to pan out. One thing that I do know for certain, is that it’s most definitely going to be a memorable one.

  After almost thirty minutes of back rubbing and soft coaxing, well I am maid of honour after all, Hannah and I are finally ready to face the music. Well, as long as she doesn’t have another breakdown along the way. I really don’t think that we’d survive another one is such a short space of time.

  “Let’s take this one step at a time, okay?” I say, trying my best to soothe her, while h
oping my calming nerves will help her put one foot in front of the other. As long as I can make her see that she’s doing the right thing and that turning around and running away now would be nothing but idiotic.

  Today is pretty hard for me too, more than Hannah will ever know. Today, not only am I giving her away, I’m giving her away to a man who I know loves her deeply, but she’ll no longer be the care free girl who I grew up with. Sure, she’ll still be my Hannah, but now she’ll have to grow up and be a wife and maybe hopefully one day soon, a mother. Oh boy is she going to be in for a shock when that one happens. Looking after ourselves on a daily basis has proved to be challenging in itself over the years, never mind actually caring for a small little human. But, I guess what will be, will be and I know that she can achieve anything that she wants to if she puts her mind to it. She’s just that type of girl and no matter what, she’ll always have me on her side.

  The aisle looks absolutely breath taking. A selection of gardenia, ranunculus and white garden roses are perfectly and delicately placed along each bench with white ribbons attached. Sparkling chandeliers hang beautifully from the ceiling and fairly lights are flashing dimly around the wooden beams, creating a wonderful, magical effect.

  It’s perfect. Everything is absolutely perfect. It’s just how Hannah has always wanted it to be and just how it should be for her special day. It really does look and feel liken something taken straight out of a fairy tale.

  I feel her pause beside me, and then her whole body stiffens as the sound of John Legend fills the room.

  I look over to Hannah and I can see that she’s panicking again. After a long deep breath she says, “this is it Luce. It’s really happening. I can’t believe that it’s finally here.”

  “It sure is, and that man right up front is waiting patiently to spend the rest of his life loving you, and only you.” I smile back at her.

  I can feel my eyes begin to well up and I don’t really want my emotions to get the better of me. I need to be strong for Hannah. I blink as fast as I can to try and keep them at bay, and thankfully, none break free.

  “Wasn’t it me who just told her that everything was going to be okay? I’m such a bloody hypocrite.” I can’t help but think to myself.

  “Uh-huh.” She smiles back at me and I can see her nerves slowly begin to take hold of her once again, trying to pull her down. Truthfully, I’ll be bloody amazed if she makes it down the aisle in one piece at this rate.

  “Remember, deep breaths and one step at a time. I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere.” I promise. With my words, a faint smile appears on her lips and with her first step, she clutches onto me for dear life.

  The short walk feels like an eternity, so I’ve got absolutely no idea how it must feel for Hannah. All eyes are fixed firmly on the gorgeous bride to be stood next to me, and rightly so too.

  Hannah has always been beautiful, inside and out, but with her ivory dress and natural glow, she’s never looked more gorgeous than she does right now. I’m bloody tempted to tell Daniel to do one and marry her myself.

  As soon as we reach the top of the aisle, Daniel slowly turns to face his bride and his eyes grow wide. I lean in and give Hannah a small, reassuring kiss on her cheek and I can feel all of her worries leave her. She knows that this is meant to be, exactly how it should be. Everyone bloody knows that it’s meant to be.

  Hannah and Daniel are like everyone’s perfect fairy tale couple, so much so, you can’t help but feel a little envious of them from time to time. But, it’s a nice little reminder that there’s still hope for the rest of us yet.

  “We are gathered here today…”

  The sound of the vicar’s voice pulls my attention back to the front of the church, where it should be. What with me being Maid of Honour, as well as giving Hannah away, my attention should have been firmly focused there to begin with, but I keep getting and intense sensation that someone is watching me from behind.

  As much as I try to fight it, curiosity gets the better of me and I can’t help but take another sneaky glance behind me and suddenly wish that I hadn’t.

  Everything stops in a heartbeat. The vicar’s voice is drowned out and my ears are taken over by the strong, loud beat of my hammering heart. I stand frozen to the spot as my whole past flashes before me, as my eyes rest on his perfect face…

  That perfect face that I used to know; the one which frequently penetrates my dreams.

  Ten Years Earlier

  “It’s your birthday, don’t be such a bloody killjoy.” Her voice pounds against my delicate head and I feel sick.

  “Please stop talking.” I think to myself over and over again, but she doesn’t stop. She just continues to drone on and on and on.

  “I’ve only just finished emptying the contents of last night. All I want to do now is go to sleep for a very long time, without you chiming down my ear every five bloody minutes. Is that too much to ask?” I try my best to plead with her, but it’s no good. She isn’t going to let up at all. She’s just going like a bloody woodpecker pecking away at my delicate head.

  “You can sleep when you’re dead. Now get that lazy arse of yours up and dressed, and make sure you put your face on. We’re leaving in fifteen, don’t you bloody dare pull your face. I’m not arguing with you on this.”

  “Fuck off and leave me alone.” I beg desperately, but I’m soon greeted by a pillow crashing against the side of my head and the impact feels like she’s just chucked a brick at my face.

  Oh, she’s going to pay for that when I feel more human, the cow.

  Why doesn’t she understand that I’m hung-over and going out is the last thing on my mind right now? I can’t remember the last time that I’d actually had a decent night’s sleep, let alone a proper day off. My body and mind feel like they’re about to burn out, both emotionally and physically.

  I’ve been living the dream and travelling for the best part of three months now and I love it, I absolutely strive off it. The partying, the weather, the fun; it’s all part of the deal.

  I’ve always lived for the wild life, happily taking each day as it comes; but lying here right now, I feel about ninety, not nineteen.

  “Jake was asking after you earlier.” Fran says, whilst eyeing me suspiciously in the mirrors reflection. No doubt to see if that little bit of information suddenly wakes me up.

  “And…” I reply flatly. Jake asking about me has certainly grabbed my attention, but I’m not exactly about to scream it from the rooftops. I know Fran’s waiting for a reaction, but she isn’t going to get one. After all, it’s not every night that you find yourself vomiting into the lap of the hot guy.

  “Oh, hey. Nice to meet you, fancy seeing my insides?” I shudder just thinking about it and I really don’t want to face him anytime soon, or ever for that matter.

  “I think he just wanted to check that you were okay, you know, after last night?” A look of sympathy passes over her face and my body is rippled with shame once again. Has she even got a heart, or at least the teeniest amount of empathy?

  “Did he mention…” I ask, desperate to know, but also wishing that I hadn’t even bothered. My cheeks heat up and my brow begins to sweat as the sudden panic sets in. He probably thinks that I’m a raging lush who can’t handle her drink. Well, I guess he’d be pretty spot on after the way that I acted last night. In all honesty, I’m surprised I’m not forced to come with a warning label whenever I’m out in public.

  “God. I’m such an embarrassment. Why the hell do I do these things to myself?”

  “No, he didn’t. I wouldn’t worry too much about it Luce. I’m sure you’re not the first to make an absolute tit out of yourself and you most definitely won’t be the last. But, on a plus note, it looks like you’ve certainly made an impression on him anyway, and that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, you know.”

  “Oh, God. Please don’t.” I cringe again as the flashbacks and beer fear begins to take hold of my body, leaving it a shaking, crippling mess.
Although my memory may be blurred slightly, his perfectly chiselled features burn clearly in my mind. His deep cobalt blue eyes that sparkle whilst searching into the depths of my soul, his jet black hair making him look like the most tallest, darkest, handsome prince that there ever was. Bloody hell, don’t even get me started on the dimple that appears when he grins.

  I pause mid-thought and look at Fran and a mischievous glint glistens in her eyes. “What did you say to him?” I know that whatever she says won’t be good. Dear God, please kill me now.

  “Nothing much, just that you’d see him later.”

  “You bitch.” I squeal. “What the bloody hell did you go and say that for? Now I’m definitely staying here. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

  Why would she do that? She knows how much of a prat I was last night. Did she think that I’d just forget it? Oh, how I wish that I could just forget it. My life would be so much easier.

  “Bloody hell Luce, you were drunk, so what? Get up and grow a pair, will you? It’s your bloody birthday and you’re going to let your hair down and have a cracking night whether you like it or not.” She gives me a firm look and suddenly I’m at a loss what to say. “Now you can start but shutting the hell up and getting dressed.”

  “Fine, but I’m not staying out too long. I’m only going for a few, more so to shut you up and then I’m coming back here.” I say sternly, more to myself that Fran. “I’m being deadly serious so you can wipe that stupid look off your face.”

  “Whatever you say girl, whatever you say.” She laughs at me, before throwing her head forward and blasting the hairdryer to her almost perfectly styled hair. I’m going to have my hands full with this one, I just know it.